Eastshade is a first person game where you can’t die (challenge accepted) the plot:

You are a traveling painter, exploring the island of Eastshade. Capture the world on canvas using your artist’s easel. Talk to the inhabitants to learn about their lives. Make friends and help those in need.

I’ve had the game a while, but never played it. I figured while I’m strapped to my desk in isolation and drug myself out of the hot tub long enough to unwrinkle, let’s give it a play.

This is the stuff of nightmares….
No. nevermind. This is.
I’m a pirate. I love the water. but I don’t want to die with .. with.. whatever these are.
I climbed the ladder so I get to watch them drown first.

Unconditional Acceptance

I’ve been in Portland a year now. As I emerge into the dating scene again, it’s the same thing every time.

BTW. I have no issue with being single. . . except that people still want something from me when we aren’t dating.

  • take them to dinner
  • Take them places
  • protect them
  • or worst of all (save them)

All the qualities of a male companion, a friend, or a lover.
Intelligent, Witty, fun. I’m not super sexy, but i haz nice dimples 😀

I tick every box for most people, but there’s always a reason why I’m not the guy they date. I’m:

  • too fat
  • too old
  • too young
  • too crazy
  • too normal
  • too well-off (seriously, wtf?)
  • too smart
  • not enough facial hair (what? I don’t look like a hipster/hobo love child.)

That’s a lot of information that isn’t important. here’s is what is:

There’s too much time spent on telling people what’s wrong with them and not enough time accepting people for WHO THEY ARE.

Seriously.. I am part of a community that tries to accept all types. Your ____ is not my ____ , but at the end of the day, a lot of that is just lip service.

People treat each other differently based on age, or age gap, color, gender, sexual orientation, identifiers.

Here: I’m a chubby white entitled professional working in a technology field. There…. I made my own box. you can fuck off now.

What I challenge you all to do is understand and then choose to accept people as they are. It doesn’t mean you have to like them. It doesn’t mean you have to date them, just accept.


I would never associate with a sleazy type male swinger looking for any susceptible person to .. well.. fuck without regards to her rules, the club rules and the collar on her neck. But I would accept that is what he is and there’s a time and place for that – and that awful PlayStation button down shirt he’s wearing. – but I don’t have to associate with him.

With regards to dating: Understand that Mr. or Mrs. Perfect probably doesn’t exist – and thats OK.

  1. Start with acceptance.
  2. Appreciate their differences from your expectations – you might find a new appreciation for the quirks. If not, then that’s OK too.
  3. and then, go on a date.

To Quote Zombie Burlesque out of Las Vegas..

Look. Life is hard. It’s difficult to go it alone. So whether they are white, black, brown, yellow, red or zombie green::- If they’ve got someone, good for them. Be happy for that person. accept them and their relationship as they are.

Unconditional Acceptance: I think it’s the path to a better future 🙂

Want to see love?

Read this: It is from a beautiful woman, who calls me Daddy. It was a Christmas gift written to me because my primary love language is Words of Affirmation


It is a sad day when a bookworm can’t find words, but that’s where I find myself. No words to tell you what you mean to me.. I don’t know when our days of playful banter turned to love. What I feel for you now, I can’t define.

So instead of telling you how I feel, let me tell you how I react.

I smile when you log in. It’s not a conscious act, it just happens from the center of my chest every time you come on I know that no matter how good or bad my day has been, it will be better when you are with me.

In my dreams I reach for you. I feel you in my sleep, my arms around you, your physical body hundreds of miles from me, while your spirit lies next to me, cuddling and caressing. Our souls have met and I’ve found it cosmic.

My mind goes to you. When I’m driving or walking, you are there with me, holding my hand and chatting about everything and nothing. We pass the days together in the quiet company of one another and we somehow always find ourselves touching to make sure the other is real. We laugh a lot. We kiss more. We hug most.

My heart cries when you’re sad. I want to take your pain and make it my own until we carry the same burden. I want to hold you in the darkness, so I have earned the right to stand with you in the light.

I always have your best interest at heart, even if it’s something that goes against what I might prefer. I will do my best to help you find your way to happiness, even if that path might lead away from me.

I want to never make you regret trusting me, liking me or loving me. I will hold your heart close to my chest and shield it above my own.

I want to always be your friend and your confidant for as long as you’ll have me—to give you space when you need it—to be your biggest cheerleader. I promise to love you and to hold you in my arms.

I love you daddy.

Critical Role Doodle


so I doodle. and now I have a digital tablet (that doubles as a third monitor) but I’ve never really tried to draw on it.. because, like I said.. I’m a doodler.

Today I decided to jump into the Deep end and draw Fjord from the Mighty Nein ala Pub Draw from the Twitch channel

All things considered.. I did OK for the first time ever using the digital art tablet.

Shopping Blind

I am on pins and needles over here. I got a package in the mail that I ordered.. I have NO idea what’s inside.

No, seriously, this time, it isn’t an A.D.D. thing I honestly ordered blind. There’s a company (Two Blind Brothers) that challenges users to order and live a bit like they do – blind and trusting someone else. So you pick what you want to pay and let someone else pick out what you get. All profits go to research to cure blindness.

Truth is, this isn’t my first order. It isn’t even my second order. It’s my third… second time ordering blind. But last time I picked sizes and things. This time. Full trust.

I haven’t opened the box, but man I’m dying to. I’m just currently waiting to share this experience with someone.

Leaving Facebook and Other Choices

In my opinion, social media sites have always tended to attract three primary categories of people: “Agents of Change,” “Attention Seekers,” or “Connection Seekers.”

Connection Seekers

This is the mom and pop Facebook user. They want to stay in touch with friends and family over distances. The posts aren’t earth shaking or controversial. “Look at what my cat did” and posts like “we miss you and the kids” or “we’re doing a thing this weekend, come visit.” It has replaced snail mail and even regular email because the target audience is easier to deliver to and by default it’s not spam.

Attention Seekers

This category tends to post everything about themselves and what they are doing. It’s not quite narcissistic. It’s more “I need to know that I matter”to someone – anyone. There is more than likely an entire personality profile some psychologist has created for this group. I’m not going to hunt for it because, quite frankly, I don’t care.

A significant portion also tends to overshare negatively as well: openly trashing former partners, dishing dirt on their jobs, friends, family, etc. All for the purpose of someone to tell them they are justified in their feelings.

“You preach it, girl. Ain’t no man got the right to tell you …….”

Any random Facebook comment

Please remember: The only constant thing in your toxic crap of a relationship (with work, people, family, etc) is YOU. You can walk away. It is an option. Always has been.

Agents of Change

This category generally has two distinct sides, with some interesting shades near the center.

On the “light” side are activist who seek to make the world better and be a positive influence on everyone. They talk about how to be better, do better. Today most of these article I find on LinkedIn as they are business related, but there are also philanthropic posts and posts bout improving the human condition.

By contrast, on the “dark” side are all the hatemongers, and people who rant about problems with no real solutions. They think they have an agenda and are “moving the needle,” but in reality they are just toxic. If you are just stating “THIS SUCKS…” and not providing a solution, you aren’t helping. It doesn’t matter if your cause is just or not.

The world, in general, seems to be filling up with more and more toxic minded people on a majority of the social media sites. I get it. I was heading down that same path. A path of becoming bitter, jaded and angry. But, in life, there is always a choice. The choice may sometimes feel like deciding between the lesser of two evils. But deciding not to choose is also a choice (someone taught me that).

I chose not to participate in and on Facebook. I chose not to watch the posts from Attention Seekers and Connection Seekers and I’m trying hard to make sure I stay on the path of becoming a positive Agent of Change. I still have social media. LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter (but I ignore most of it) and I have other methods of contact. (Contact Q here)

So, let me make a suggestion. If your rant or rave doesn’t have a CTA (Call-to-Action) then it doesn’t serve a purpose. A CTA could be:

  • Go help / donate / volunteer
  • Read more and make an informed decision for yourself
  • Steps to improve / change someone’s life/world

So, think about that before you post. Does this inform? Does it help people? Or is it negative in nature?

I’m making the choice to surround myself with positive people; to surround myself with positive vibes. Maybe, just maybe, if everyone gives it a shot the world can be made better.

Two Days

I have two (2) days within my current company. This entire last week has been a waste. Rather than do knowledge transfer to glean and gain knowledge from me, they have chosen to just ignore me and “do their own thing” which means tactical problem solving as opposed to looking at the strategic big picture.

It is their choice to do as such. But it does remind me, painfully, that I am making the correct decision. I am strategic, thought-leadership, an agent of change. I evolve. My product lines evolve. I don’t dabble in the shallow end of the cess pool to do “just good enough.”

Two days… I can do this. Just two more days.